Donald Trump talks about his first time. Trump: My first time was in Putin's outhouse outside Moscow. I never really expected to make it with Putin but he showed me all those Russian investment opportunities, I figured, *What the hell? Interviewer: But with a murderous despot of a country which interfered in our election? Isn't that a bit odd? Trump: Well, I was a lying, self-serving opportunist, drunk on power and greed and no moral compass. Interviewer: Screwing the U.S. in favor of your own self-interest. How was it? Trump: It was great but I won the election before I could seal the deal. I've been trying to stay on Putin's good side. Putin. Russian prostitutes. You'll never forget your first time. *Meant to be taken seriously.