Ann Telnaes
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Ann Telnaes
  • About
  • Substack
  • Archives
  • Books
  • Writings & Interviews
  • Contact

Archives

For licensing information, please contact atelnaes@anntelnaes.com.

Fly and enjoy America’s Great Destination Spots.

October 3, 2001

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US Attack Imminent. Aim carefully, please. Taliban regime.

October 2, 2001

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Commies out. Red scare. Criticism out. Red, White and Blue scare.

September 29, 2001

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It’s my new hands-free cell phone.

September 27, 2001

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Guide to identifying people by their headgear. Sikh. Muslim. Jew. Racist. Dunce.

September 26, 2001

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We Can Do It! Taliban.

September 25, 2001

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US Airport Security. Then. ZZZZZ. Now. You don’t look like a terrorist – Go on through.

September 22, 2001

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Fortune Teller. Right now I think I’d rather see the past than the future.

September 21, 2001

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Little Red Riding Hood was starting to think taking this internship in Washington wasn’t such a good idea.

September 20, 2001

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It’s time we send back foreign born, foreign speaking, non-American citizens. It’s time we sent back foreign speaking, different looking, people who weren’t born in America. It’s time we send back funny sounding, different thinking, people who don’t look like Americans. It’s time back different sounding, blasphemous thinking, people who aren’t real Americans. It’s time we send back anyone who doesn’t sound like me.

September 18, 2001

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Afghanistan. Pakistan. Yemen. Philippines. Chechnya. Algeria. Egypt. Saudi Arabia. Somalia.

September 17, 2001

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So, which religious extremist group are you with? Falwell and Robertson.

September 14, 2001

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We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you reality.

September 13, 2001

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Boss. Phone co. Telemarketer. Airlines. It’s a great stress reliever.

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U.S. Intelligence.

September 12, 2001

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Terrorists. Vermin.

September 11, 2001

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Stimulated? $300. Oh, sure. US Economy.

September 6, 2001

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A restaurant’s definition of a meal. Sure you don’t want fries with that? An airline’s definition of a meal.

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Belfast. (Young school girl has a target on her back).

September 5, 2001

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Seeing eye to eye. Bush. ANWR. Unions.

September 4, 2001

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Theater of the Absurd. Strom. Aye! Air freshener.

September 1, 2001

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G E N O C I D E. Milosevic’s chickens come home to roost.

August 31, 2001

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That reminds me – I need to make an appointment for a haircut.

August 30, 2001

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Helms. I will not run again.

August 23, 2001

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I hate sitting next to a crying baby … Where’s the drink cart?? Why aren’t we taking off yet???

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JAWS RETURNS!! TIDAL TERROR!! SUMMER OF THE SHARK!! CARNIVORE CARNAGE!! Be careful – There’s a media frenzy up there.

August 22, 2001

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The so much for the budget surplus tour.

August 20, 2001

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Saudi Arabia. Nigeria. Congo. Yemen. Pakistan. Iran. US. Death Row.

August 16, 2001

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To which you replied: Fiddle-dee-dee I can’t think about it now. I’ll think about it tomorrow. I’m afraid that’s not an acceptable response to a request made by your boss, Miss O’Hara.

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Oklahoma High School. To Kill a Mocking Bird.

August 14, 2001

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He was studying so hard I actually saw smoke coming out of his ears. Karen Hughes offers proof that the President thoroughly studies the issues.

August 12, 2001

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Boom!! Bang!! Boom!! Bang!! The peace process.

August 11, 2001

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Bush presents his position on stem cell research.

August 10, 2001

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Is it me, or are female news anchors getting younger and cuter?

August 9, 2001

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Reinvent yourself. Makeover magic. You again?

August 8, 2001

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Doctors report the President is in excellent physical shape.

August 5, 2001

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I will not release information about my energy task force meetings. Hillary Cheney.

August 4, 2001

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August recess. HMOs. Teamsters. Oil.

August 3, 2001

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Peanut butter. ANWR Preserves. Good, huh? Yummy. Teamsters.

August 2, 2001

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I see they’ve put the air conditioner at a ridiculously low setting again.

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S. African Bishops Reject Condoms to Fight AIDS.

August 1, 2001

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Far Right. MODERATES.

July 30, 2001

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Phillip Morris Claims Smokers’ Early Deaths Saves Governments Millions in Health Care and Pensions. NRA. Hey – I’ve got our international marketing strategy.

July 27, 2001

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Washington should concentrate on the big picture. Ambassador Yang Jiechi. Human Rights Abuser. China.

July 26, 2001

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Frustrated with never having any personal space, Suzanne decided to change her wardrobe.

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No caption. (Pope John Paul II stands next to President George W. Bush. The Pope wears a mitre and the President wears a hat in the shape of an electric chair.)

July 23, 2001

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Kyoto. A bird in the hand is worth two non-existent alternatives by Bush.

July 22, 2001

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White House requests Navy to pay V.P. residence’s $186,000 energy bill. Lightboob.

July 19, 2001

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